Maintaining an intimate relationship with your partner is an important part of keeping the relationship vibrant and exciting. However, no matter what the intentions may be, there are times in the relationship where your sex life may not be where you want it to be. While some couple's may decide that this is a serious problem or even a relationship breaker, the vast majority of couples invest in each other and work to improve their sexual relationship.
COMMON COMPLAINTS ABOUT SEX
The most common complaints from couples about their sex lives include:
- The relationship is boring
- He/She isn't interested in sex anymore
- We have sex – on special occasions
- Having a family is just too tiring to have a good sex life
- Couples our age don't have sex
- I want to try spicing things up but he/she has said no in the past
- I don't feel good about my body anymore
- Low libido or lack of sex drive due to physical or emotional issues
- Stress, fear and anxiety about life in general
- Conflicts within the relationship outside of the bedroom
- Medications that decrease libido and performance
Many of the issues mentioned above are perfectly normal and a part of a long term relationship. People do become familiar with each other, fall into a comfortable pattern of intimate relationships or even slowly move away from sexual intimacy.
SEXUAL INTIMACY HAS BENEFITS
On the other hand, research has shown that couples with an active sex life tend to live long, have stronger emotional connections to each other, have a lower divorce rate and remain healthier even as they age. So, despite what may seem a natural progression to a relationship, there is sound evidence that keeping a healthy, active and satisfying sexual relationship with your partner is really a benefit all through your life.
It is important for couples to realize that every individual is different and rarely are two people completely matched with regards to their sex drive. Learning to read the partners signals as well as giving out the right signals yourself is a true skill and one that can help form a much better relationship.
Taking care of your physical self as well as your emotional self is a major factor in being active and involved in an intimate relationship. Some of the work needs to start with you before you can expect to see a change in your partner's responsiveness. However, if you both begin to consciously change your attitudes towards your intimate relationship you will be amazed at how you can discover each other all over again.
One key issue for couples to keep in mind as they work to improve their sex life is that they shouldn't be trying to compare themselves to statistics and information that they may find on the internet or in books. Everyone is different and there is no reason that you have to match the national average for number of times a couple has sex. Interestingly enough in a recent Women's Day report in February of 2010 people report that the average number of times they had sex per year was one hundred and three, which is roughly once every 3.5 days.
In addition researchers have found that the more often people have sex, the more likely they are to want more sex. Withholding sex from a partner, either willfully or because of physical or emotional issues, will result in a decrease in the likelihood of sex. Increasing your attention to your partner and sending a clear message that you are in the mood will simply enhance the chance of more frequent intimate moments.
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