Foreplay is important in sending a message to your spouse or partner that you are in the mood. For some couples a house full of kid's toys, barking dogs or piles of work to do is simply a mood breaker. While you may not be able to totally remove all these obstacles to a romantic interlude you certainly can minimize their impact.
Setting a romantic tone for the evening, afternoon or whenever you find time to enjoy each other's company doesn't have to be elaborate or stressful. Instead look for ways to make your home more relaxing, seductive and private, a sure way to provide just the atmosphere you need.
First and foremost to have a romantic atmosphere get rid of all the technology stuff that isn't romantic at all. The laptop, desktop computer, television, telephone, cell phone or anything else that connects you to the outside world should be temporarily banished. Not only does this prevent interruptions but it also sets a much more relaxing and much less distracting environment. After all you want to be focused in on each other and your experience together not on the television or what is on the computer.
You will also want to remove the items in the room that remind you of work that has to be done. The laundry basket needs to be put in the closet or in the laundry room; stacks of paperwork should be put in the office or at least out of sight in a drawer or filing cabinet. This prevents you from letting your mind drift to all the pressures of the outside world that are just waiting for you. Not only will this help with your ability to stay "in the moment" with your partner but you are also more likely to avoid jumping up out of bed to head back to work immediately after making love.
Second, touch. Human contact is a need that everyone has. This includes both mental and physical contact with others. Sex is the most intimate of that type of physical contact, but also the most satisfying. To increase your sex life start adding a bit more casual touching in your relationship, you will be amazed at the results.
Very socially appropriate types of touching between couples include:
This is a very traditional way for couples to remain in close physical contact with each other. Try adding a subtle stroking motion with your thumb or fingers on the other person's hand and see the response that you get.
Hands on the arm or leg
A gentle and brief touch on the knee, upper leg or the forearm can be a very romantic gesture. You should also maintain eye contact as much as possible when you make the gesture; this combines both an emotional message as well as the physical contact.
Arms around the waist or shoulders
Similar to a hand hold, couples often link arms around their waists or their shoulders to bring their bodies closer together. Try adding a gentle rub on the arm or a slow movement of the hand down the waist or hips to add to the sensuality of the touch.
Kissing, without becoming to extreme, is a socially acceptable way to show your love and desire for your partner or spouse. Just don't get too carried away, especially in work environments as it may actually cause your partner to be uncomfortable or even resentful of the attention. Talking about what is OK and what isn't and want both of your comfort levels are with regards to kissing is an important conversation to have.
Third, think about romantic overnight getaways.
If you can afford time away from the house, kids and your busy schedules try a romantic getaway even just for an evening. Plan a dinner at a favorite restaurant, a night at a movie, dancing or just walking along a sunset beach and then plan a night away at a local hotel. You don't have to go far; just a change from the house is all it takes to jump start everyone's love life.
Many people that travel for business have points or rewards programs that entitle them to free nights at hotels. Plan to use these free nights with your partner or spouse, and plan them at different times, perhaps in between stressful holidays or dealing with back to school issues with the kids.
Lots of hotels, even very high end luxury hotels, offer discount rates if you book a night during the week. Monday through Thursday typically will be your best bet for a low cost night at a very extravagant and luxury type of hotel. While you don't have to ask for the honeymoon suite, this could be a wonderful additional romantic touch every now and then. Again, midweek rates and off season rates can be incredible low cost, often with breakfast or additional perks thrown in as part of the honeymoon suite price.
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